IN THE GALLERY
Iden LaMere: Grandmother’s Attic
Exhibition on view: October 13 – October 20
Artist Reception: Tuesday October 15, 6-9PM | INIVTE
Gallery Hours: Fridays 5:30-7:30PM, during all Sugar City events and by appointment.
The past few months I’ve been working on this exhibition have also been some of the hardest of my life. I feel riddled with loss. I have had two great soulmates in my life, my partner Asher and a good friend I had over the course of college, throughout my transition and so many other hard things.
I’d done so many things with her. So many of my paintings have her as a subject, including one in this exhibition that I can no longer stand putting a brush to. We knew each others’ schedules. We knew each other’s coffee orders by heart. We did a nude modeling session together in our senior year (consequently, we knew far too much about each other). But for whatever reason, I became inconvenient for her. So I let her know she’d given up, and I had to give up too. I cannot deny my ongoing love for her, and I cannot deny that every day she doesn’t reach out makes me love and hate her more at once.
My father, with whom I’ve had a rocky relationship my entire life throughout his struggle with alcoholism and emotional and physical abuse, had promised us upon leaving prison that he was a new man. An adult, no longer a narcissist, a parent. He’d convinced me he’d researched my gender. He convinced me that his slip-ups even after three years of knowing and three years of surgery and recovery and testosterone needles, he knew I was a man. Then at my sister’s 25th birthday, he complained that he felt lonely. The only rooster in a sea of hens. I gave so many chances to apologize that night. He said I was too sensitive. He shrugged when I asked, “What about me?”. I came to the conclusion that it was all a lie. Everything he’d ever said about recovery, about loving me and who I was becoming. Possibly everything he’d ever said in general.
I’m accustomed to being left in the dust in my platonic love life. I can’t understand it. It’s a pattern of deep love and heartbreak that I can’t figure out how to break. Reviewing it all feels like digging through grandmother’s attic. I can’t find any greater meaning in the inheritance left behind, in dusty boxes of Christmas cards and old ottomans, after the last car leaves the cemetery.
Artist Bio: My name is Iden J LaMere. I am 23 years old, and I moved to Buffalo just a few months ago, but I’ve lived in Upstate New York nearly all of my life. I am a trans man, and long-time sufferer of PTSD, and my identity has a tendency to make its way into almost all of my work. My depictions of gender, and the way I like to balance horror and beauty in my work have a lot to do with seeing the world from the perspective of being a person trying to love a body and self I hate.
I like to try to produce a balance between elegance and filth, or things that are pleasing to the eye and things we as people would rather not think of, in my imagery and material use. On the side of elegance I take influence from Victorian and French Rococo art style. On the side of filth I use images of blood and offal, human waste, and depictions of gender expression intended to cause discomfort in people who don’t have experience with trans bodies. I want to create an aura of romanticism for taboo subjects. My main medium is oil paint, but I also enjoy working with fabric and other mixed media.
Facebook: IdenJay | Website: idenjay.weebly.com | Etsy: ArcaneArtsBoutique | Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
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Fri 10/25 6-11 PM | MUSIC |$5 | INVITE Muddle (bflo punk) album release show, Not For Nothing (bflo indie rock), Voice of Dissent (bflo punk), Sidney Jeanne (bflo feminist folk),
Fri 11/1 6-9PM Art Opening | In Monumental and Sentimental: Illustrations by Alexis Hinkley-Maier